Curated Recent Works Of A Total Dumbass

Here’s some really great stuff I’ve done for some totally awesome websites and whatnot …

Volcom Pipe Pro Wrap-Up for

Carnage, heroic performances highlight early rounds of Volcom Pipe Pro

‘I got worked’—Kelly Slater

Pipeline is gnar. Photo:

Pipeline is gnar. Photo:

As dawn slowly crept over Pipeline on Oahu’s North Shore Monday morning, the roar of the ocean could be heard from miles away, and giant triangular peaks started to show through the darkness.

Surf fans were about to be treated to a long day of epic Pipe. Luckily, Day 2 of the Volcom Pipe Pro was scheduled to run, with the most highly anticipated heats featuring back-to-back battles between some of the world’s best Pipeline surfers and some up-and-coming youngsters hellbent of conquering real deal Pipeline.

For more about this super rad contest, go to:

New Owls Music for

There’s no fucking way it’s been over twenty years since the last Owls record? How is that even possible? Most of you are probably thinking, “Who the shit are Owls anyway”. Well, here’s a mini history lesson in regards to Owls. I first got in to Owls by way of Joan Of Arc …


To read more go to:

Interview with America’s Funnyman, Neil Hamburger for


Neil Hamburger is a professional comedian with a stage act that has gotten him hundreds of laughs, many boos, and a few fists and bottles thrown in his direction.

His dry sardonic wit and deadpan delivery is the antithesis of the slick and douchey comedic stylings of many comedians currently appearing on stages around the world. Neil Hamburger is a comedian you either love with zeal, or hate with a passion. The people that hate Neil Hamburger can be personified as people who just don’t get it, therefore hate on it—fuck those people. Mr. Hamburger is championed by the seminal indie-rock label, Drag City Records (home of Bonnie “Prince” Billy, Royal Trux, and countless other important rock and roll bands). Mr. Hamburger is currently on a never-ending world tour. Monster Children caught up with him mere moments after plowing through a pile of trash that fell out of the back of a truck in front of his van on the freeway. When we called, he was stuck in the purgatory of a Discount Tire waiting room somewhere in the middle of Shit Creek, California.

Please Describe Neil Hamburger as if I am an old woman sitting next to you on an airplane.

Neil Hamburger: Well, we’re (Neil is the creation of Gregg Turkington, an Australian-born U.S. comedian and in this case talking about himself) have a comedy act that has been taken all over the world for many years. It’s not for everyone—I repeat, it’s not for everyone …

For the rest of this epic interview, go to

Houston Rap Book Review for


The first time I heard the classic Geto Boys song, “My Mind Is Playing Tricks On Me,” I knew right then that I would be a fan for life.

What I didn’t know is that the Geto Boys were just the tip of the iceberg of a hip-hop scene so raw and radical that the rest of the USA could hardly comprehend what was really going on. The Geto Boys were the group that sparked a contained explosion on the streets and in the heavy-duty hoods of Houston. Photographer, Peter Beste (shooter of the seminal Vice book, True Norwegian Black Metal) and writer, Lance Scott Walker, spent the better part of the last decade exploring the ghettos, hoods, and backstreets areas of Houston compiling an honest, immersive, and truly compelling account of the people, places, and situations that make Houston hip hop one of the most misunderstood and universally underappreciated aspects of hip hop culture. The book is a real-deal art piece that is a must for any fan of hip-hop or real street level photography—truly bad ass in every way. Monster Children got in touch with Lance Scott Walker to find out how, when, and why a book about Houston Rap simply had to be made …

For more about this badass book, go to:

The Ten Best Father/Son Surf Teams for


Fatherhood is what happens to men nine months after sexual intercourse. A wiener goes in to a vagina, a sperm swims up and in to an egg, and VIOLA, a baby begins to form. Some babies grow up to be a scientists, murderers, doctors or lawyers. Other times, babies grow up to be surfers. In the case of the babies on the list you are about to read, they all became surfers, and damn good ones at that.

Each new generation of surfers gets better and better, so it makes sense that while the kids are ripping harder than ever, so are the dads. Some of the dads on this list could have been on the World Tour, some have even been World Champions, but they all have one thing in common; they all passed their amazing surf genes on to their offspring. There are many father/son teams out there that shred, but some stand head and shoulders above others, here are the 10 Best Father/Son Surf Teams according to Stab. – Chris Coté

For more about these sick ass father/son surf teams, go to: